Next Up on the D-I-C (K)

Forgive me for the crude title. The price you pay for my desire to be clever. But yeah...me and FickleFlower are no longer together. We decided that it wasn't our time; we're at two different points in our lives. I probably will always love her, but our last attempt took place in the midst of a pending epiphany -- a heightened sense of carnal awareness, if you will. This revelation has begged the question, "Who's next up on the D-I-C?" Get on the mic and rock the symphony.

I'm not looking to become a man-whore, just to sow my oats a bit. Unfortunately, this goes against who I am in two ways: (1) I am generally not down for casual fornication from a moral standpoint and (2) I am pretty lazy from a social standpoint to put in the work required to reap such dividends...

Yo this is mad schizoid, but I'm watching this movie called The Girl Next Door that's making me rethink this whole sow my oats thing. It's about this cat who is dating his next door neighbor who he is really smitten with. Everything is going fine until she finds out she's a former porn star. He then treats her like a cheap date who has no worth but sex. She, of course, is really hurt because she really likes him. It got me thinking, "Doesn't every woman deserve to be treated like she is worth more than the sum of her private parts?"
Though, of course, I'd always be honest, I'm not sure if I would feel right knowing that sex was the motivating force behind my encounters with women. Even if she was perfectly comfortable having a physical relationship, I can't help but think that I am cheating her, and myself, of something much greater, something that she deserves. As this guy in the movie asks, "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" More on this moral dilemma to come...


"And you can still like her with your penis inside her"
- Eli from The Girl Next Door

"Now I think moral fiber is finding that one thing you really care about... and when you find her, you fight for her."
- Matthew from The Girl Next Door

Back from Vacation...but still on it

It's been a minute but I warned yall that I didn't know what was in store for this blog. Luckily for you, I've decided to post another entry.
I just got back from vacation in Vegas with FickleFlower. We had a great time for the most part. We stayed in my parents' timeshare, which was a couple of miles from the strip, which was off the chain. King-sized bed, plasma tv in the bedroom, whirlpool tub, full kitchen... we were living the good life.
Vegas is pure entertainment, appealing to a very vintage tradition of showmanship. It's all about the show -- the magic show, the comedy show, the topless show, the dance show, the variety show. I'm sure Vegas is known as Sin City, not for the gambling or prostitution, but because it has got to be a sin to have so many magicians in one town.
Speaking of gambling, Las Vegas does not play games (no pun intended. that was a pun right?). As soon as a brotha gets off the plane and out the gate, an array of slot machines is staring me in the retina. Pretty much everywhere I went, there was at least one slot machine, perpetually taunting consumers that a world of fortune awaited them if only had the balls to pull the golden lever. Reminded me a lot of America -- an environment built purely on consumption, to the point of complete moral disregard. The only way to get ahead is to play the game, despite the odds being stacked against you. If you are black, the odds are even worse (despite what Wesley Snipes thought in Passenger 57).
Needless to say, I didn't gamble much. I won six dollars on the slots, then spent it all at the arcade in the MGM Grand. I'm not even going to talk about what happens when we win...

* * *

After a week in Vegas, I'm back home in the Chi, chillin with my family. It feels good to be back home. I haven't really spent time with my family since December and even then, I was embroiled in other activities. They're doing well for the most part. My father has just started working out regularly and he's real hype about it. He's even got my little brother into the act, who is straight up chubmaster right now, probably because he spends almost all his free time playing video games. I'm supposed to roll up to the Y with them sometime this week.
My mama is doing well too. She's getting ready to get back in the frying pan, preparing for the upcoming school year. Me and her are supposed to check out an exhibit at the Mexican Fine Arts Museum, which documents the African influence on Mexican culture. It should be pretty hot so I'm looking forward to that.

Along with signs of doing well, there's also reminders of my family's vitality. My father will apparently be receiving orthoscopic knee surgery next month and also is in danger of hyperthyroidism. My grandfather is still recovering from a mild stroke and is undergoing cancer treatment. And my mama just doesn't seem as sharp as she used to be. I'm still working at how to engender a closer relationship with my little brother at this pivotal time in his development as a young man.
All these things are pushing me to enjoy the precious little time I have with my family and are making me think about the future and coming back to Chicago after graduation. I need to start praying again...


Always bet on black
- John Cutter, as played by Wesley Snipes, in Passenger 57

It is better to open your eyes and say you don't understand, than to close your eyes and say you don't believe
- Charlie from playahata.com